Lead

Dec 31 09 8:04 PM

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(JOKE)

I was in Walmart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in the checkout line.

A woman behind me asked "Do you have a dog?"  DUH!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her "No, I'm staring the Dog Food Diet again.
Although, I probably shouldn't, because last time I'd ended up in the hospital... but I had lost 50 pounds before I woke up in the intensive care unit with two iv's and a tubes all over my body."

The woman's eyes about bugged out of her head!

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.

I told her "it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Dog food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete... so I was going to try it again."

I have to mention here that practically everone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy standing behind her.

Horiified, she asked "Did something in the dog food poison you? Was that why you ended up in
the hospital?"

I said "no... I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me."

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door, he was bent over double laughing.